Replace the Elephant
One of my all-time favorite movies is Inception, the 2010 science-fiction heist thriller framed around the idea that it’s possible to plant an idea in someone else’s mind. Without wandering too far into the weeds, an early scene features two characters discussing the concept of inception. While attempting an explanation, Arthur, played by Joseph Gordon-Levitt, uses a simple analogy.
Arthur: Okay, here’s me planting an idea in your head. I say to you, “Don’t think about elephants.” What are you thinking about?
Saito: … Elephants.
Funny how that works, right? The more you try not to think about elephants, the more your imagination floods with floppy ears and ivory tusks. Now, what the heck do elephants have to do with life coaching? Well, not much. But replace “elephants” with a habit that you’re trying to break.
Don’t think about doomscrolling on my phone.
Don’t think about arguing with my parents.
Don’t think about failing the Biology test.
Works the same way, doesn’t it? What happens when you concentrate all your energy on the thing you’re trying to quit? All of a sudden, you find yourself obsessing over screen time, complaining to your mom, and drawing a blank on the definition of mitosis. If you’re stuck in a rut, it’s possible that you’re focusing too much of your attention on what you’re trying not to do. It’s not enough to want to end a bad habit. You have to add a new one to take its place.
In behavioral psychology, we call these new habits “replacement behaviors.” A replacement behavior can be any healthy practice that fulfills the same function as the unwanted behavior. Here are a few examples of replacement behaviors to substitute for the scenarios listed above.
Read. Journal. Work out.
Write down three reasons why you’re thankful for your parents.
Schedule study time on three consecutive days before a test.
Can’t stop thinking about elephants? Replace the elephant with something better, and start moving forward.
